Pages

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

A writer's curse?

Script Frenzy progress: 11 pages. All rewritten from before, but it's a start. A pretty good one, considering I only need 3.33 pages a day to meet the goal.

Other than that, things are getting a little crazy. It’s all in my head. I’ll probably sound like a nut, but judge me if you will. Sometimes I get a little carried away with great stories. So much so that I become obsessed with a person, place thing – you name it. I always thought of it as just a writer’s curse – my brain is in overdrive sometimes. But often the fixation becomes so strong that it’s no longer just about the story. It’s more about me. And that’s where the trouble really starts.

If I get carried away with an idea, I want to learn everything about it. Still, it probably doesn’t seem like this is all a bad thing. I’m constantly learning, right? But what starts out as a fun escape from reality usually turns into heartbreak. I usually find something terribly wrong with the person, place, or thing. Then I just get so depressed… and I’m tired of doing this.

All of this imagination in overdrive stuff started when I was a kid, but over the last few months it has progressively gotten worse. It’s just such an emotional roller coaster, I don’t know why I let myself do this. Take this last little blip on the ride. I had a great storyline and it was working well as a story… that’s it. But I got carried away, and now I’m disappointed again. I got rid of it last night... it went straight from the USB key to the recycling bin. If this had been in a different time, I would have just taken it out back and burned it with a match. I guess a virtual burning is good enough. But my mind can't let go of it just yet. This idea wants to stick around.

See? I told you it sounds like I'm a nut.

And to just forget all about this, I tried this afternoon to get back to what's important: yoga, meditation, and a sense of peace. Needless to say, it didn't quite work. The biggest setback was something as simple and stupid as drinking Mountain Dew before my practice. It made it much more difficult to slow my heart rate with all the caffeine coursing through my blood.

And so I continue to suffer from the writer’s curse.

2 comments:

Karen | Ideas for Writers and Bloggers said...

I know what it's like to get carried away with an idea. It happens to me sometimes too.

Found your blog via Entrecard. Nice to meet you. :)

Terri said...

Thanks! nice to meet a fellow dropper.