If you can believe it, it's almost the end of April. National Poetry Month has been fun, even though this year I didn't attempt to do as much with it as I normally do. Camp NaNo is almost over too. And no, I'm not going to meet my goal (sneak peek of what I did write will be posted on Patreon May 4, if you're interested). Although it was only 25k, I kind of get that wanderlust feeling every April, like I'm supposed to be someplace else and there's some really arbitrary deadline no one told me about. So I scramble to work overtime on paying gigs instead of my creative work. It doesn't get to the point where I actually leave, but this time I'm doing a little more with actively getting plans in place, like getting someone to take my resume seriously even though I'm out of the local candidate range.
There's also the issue of that script I was writing for a fellowship program. It was so much better in my head than it is on paper. Applications are going to be accepted through the end of May, so I have a very short window to transform it into something I would want to put my name on. Of course being accepted into that program comes with its own issues, but I need to stop that type of thinking--that's what gets me to convince myself that earning an opportunity like this would bring more headaches than it's worth. I'm not going to dive head-first into personal affirmations, but I am going to check myself when necessary to keep this career moving forward, whatever shape that takes.
So do your worst, May. I'm still going to keep writing.
(No, May. Please--I didn't mean it. Be nice to me!)