I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I really don't. I try to not whine (at least publicly) about every little thing that goes wrong, but I couldn't help myself on Twitter yesterday. I even committed a big no-no by whining about a lost project/client. I was just so frustrated and didn't know where to turn. My family knows nothing about freelance writing, so it frustrates me even more just to try and explain the situation. Friends would listen, but again, it takes too long to explain and just keeps me angry longer.
The worst part is that if I look at the situation from the outside, I sabotaged myself without knowing it at the time. I'm the one that halted all other work to put that project first. I'm the one who decided it was okay to do a small sample of work without pay. I'm the one who, after finding out the job was awarded to someone else without ANY consideration to my sample, couldn't bring myself back in the mindset to work, even if it was only for $3 and some change per article. At least it would have been something. Then, thinking another job may be coming through, I waited patiently for... you guessed it... nothing. So I had more and more time to think about all that is going wrong and trying my hardest to come up with the good things to balance out the list. The list is still not balanced, by any means.
Like everyone says: these moments in life will make a great book someday. Let's just hope it's a book that sells a few million copies.
2 comments:
I know the feeling. It's too long of a story for here, but a similar situation happened to me some years ago. It wasn't writing, but doing some computer work for a firm. It not only affected me, but some others who worked for me. Not a pleasant time.
BTW - the "list" will even out in time. I'm sure of it!
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