Pages

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Big Decision

And now as promised: my big plans for the next year. The first priority is to keep my writing up. It's easier these days. I found something in myself that just wants to keep going, no matter how hard the task ahead of me seems. That's the easy part. The hard part will be to finally get the hell out of Dodge.

I have wanted to move out of state since I was about eight years old. I thought that would be the only way to get exactly what I want out of life. Indiana isn't bad; it's just not the place for me. Here it's really hard to make friends and network. I know a lot of people would disagree, but take into consideration that I work from home. And I don't have a car. Most Hoosiers spend their lives in their houses, their cars, or at work. At least that's been my experience. You can break through—but remember I'm shy. This place doesn't make me open up as much as I want or need.

The solution? Move to a big city, of course! I know I've probably talked the ears off of everyone I know about moving to New York. It's been my dream since I first started reading The Baby-Sitters Club books. Stacey was always my favorite character, and she had originally moved to Stoneybrook from New York. I'm a dork, I know. But the more I think about it, the more of a hassle it seems. I still hold a place in my heart for the city I've never seen, but I have to move to plan B.

And let me tell you, plan B is probably just as far-fetched. Right now I'm working to save money not to move to New York, but to Los Angeles. I know. I know. Lateral move compared to NYC, right? I just know that I'm at that point in my life where major change needs to happen, and what's more of a change than moving 2,000 miles away from everything I've ever known? It's a lot like the song “Boston” by Augustana. Sort of. I know that song is about someone getting out of L.A., but the concept is the same. And the whole time I have been wrestling over this decision between NYC and L.A., one of the band's other songs (“Hotel Roosevelt”) pops into my head occasionally. The lyrics in particular “New York/L.A./Hey man, you know it's all the same.” Maybe it is... and maybe it's not.

I've spent a few weeks weighing the pros and cons of each city and there are additional perks to choosing L.A. Over NYC. The rent is cheaper (okay, so it's only about $100 difference, but still a savings!), the weather is much more stable, and I know that even though I never intend to own a car, I can find a place in L.A. where I can walk or bike to whatever I need. I just need a change. I need something to look forward to. I need a chance to actually live my life the way I want to without depending on or caring about what other people think. If this is what moving to California brings for me, I'll welcome any uphill battles to get there. I'm not going to let anyone stop me this time. I'm 27 after all... why should anyone be able to hold me back?

No comments: