Thursday, February 19, 2009

Longing for a little meaning

I was thinking about the future today (always bad news) and I realized that nothing is going to go right. Nothing ever has, so why will it in the future? It sounds a little morbid, but I'm faced with finding a new place to live (again) and it's tough. I'm tired of moving, I'm tired of relying on everyone for every little thing that I need, and I'm really tired that my life lacks the opportunity to grow as a person. At the moment, I feel like all I amount to is a placeholder. I'm just filling in until someone else is ready to take my spot. It's sounds strange, but the metaphor makes sense in my head.

Good writers would use this angst and despair to write. But I'm too angst-y to get anything out. My mind is drawing a complete blank. I would go back to the latest project I was working on before my melancholy struck, but that was specifically supposed to be a comedy, and I don't want to ruin it just because of my mood. I hope I'll snap out of it soon. Depression doesn't work so well for productive times at work either.

2 comments:

Steve said...

Could be worse, moved 17 times in 5 years, finally found a nice place and my house mate moves out, get a new one, she looses her job, get a new one he's a nutter!

No heating... No chance... but I have multivitamins! And for some reason that makes the world a better place :)

Terri said...

you've got me beat... I've only moved 10 times in the last five years. But I'm trying to make this next move my last one.