Today is Step 1

I had a blast this weekend going back to Ball State for homecoming with some friends (although they did lose top Temple 42-0). We had planned on going to the game, but tailgating got the best of us. We spent a lot of time waiting for the dogs and burgers to grill. And I promised myself before going back to Muncie that once I returned and rested a little bit, it would be back to business and all my plans this morning. I'm trying to keep that promise to myself.

Step 1 in this plan is to revamp the resume. What I really want to accomplish with the revamp is how best to list my freelance writing experience. I'm not sure if I want to list specific companies I have worked for, or if that's even necessary. I guess I'll be doing a lot of example-searching today! Once I get all of those details out of the way, it'll be time for Step 2: the Cover Letter. This I have little experience in writing (I think I've manage to write one since I first learned what a cover letter was) so that will be tons of fun, I'm sure.

I'm more excited than ever about these tasks just because there's news flying around that my current freelance gig may be diminishing... or even disappearing. It has already been slow on and off for months. I did my normal cry-it-out-and-get-it-over-with yesterday and I'm back with a vengeance. After the resume and cover letter are complete I'll be looking towards finding a new gig or, as people still put it to me, a real job until I see what happens with this internship.

Positive thoughts work, right? I guess they can't hurt!!!

The New Year

By the time I finish this post, it will officially be 2011. I don't know if I necessarily have a tradition for the holiday, but on New Year's Eve I typically watch the ball drop on TV, cry (both for how pathetic the previous year had been plus having little hope for the next year to be different), then write the first journal entry of the year. And this year I was able to have a toast with a little Jaegermeister I had left from when I still had friends. The booze did help lighten the dark mood just a little. Sounds sad, but when I thought I had other plans (nothing grand--just babysitting) I almost missed the idea of this ritual.

And I don't make resolutions anymore. I can't stick to anything no matter what the date happens to be. If I did though, it would be the usual: find love, find purpose, get something published. There's not much else in my life that I don't have besides that. I have a job, a great DVD collection, a fantastic library... I'm just missing the intangibles. Everyone tells me to stop wanting it, and I'll get it. Ha. I laugh in their faces. Why? Because even though they have it, they sure aren't happy with it. And if they are, they're lying.

My toast to 2011: "May you not suck as bad a years past and may you bring into my life exciting adventure." There. celebration is over. Off to bed.

If It's December...

...then I must be feeling pretty rotten about myself. Usually happens around this time of year. All of my friends, family, and such seem to be dining at the world's fanciest dinner party. I'm out by the dumpster looking for table scraps to fulfill even a part of my life that's missing. The only problem is I'm still not quite sure what's missing. I could list the obvious (such as any sort of normal human interaction)--but that can't be the only thing missing, right?

My feelings about my situation are probably being a little exaggerated. I watched the HBO movie Grey Gardens the other day and I am probably the most fearful of ending up a person who could leave a situation any time they wanted, but they just couldn't get themselves to do it. But it wouldn't be the exact same with me anyway, since I really don't like cats and no matter how hard I try, I can't see myself becoming a hoarder.

And while I have been taught that money is not important, I've become consumed with making every little penny and that has caused me to recently tweet some strange ads, including coupons for tampons. While relevant to women's lives, not so informative for someone that wants to read about writing. It makes me laugh sometimes at the ridiculousness of my life. Let's hope for more sanity in 2011. :)