I'm getting into one of those hopeless moods again. It's only when someone points out to me that I should be farther along in my life than I am. They tell me I should be making good money, have a nice home, a gaggle of great friends, and a family of my own. I think these people mean well, but they don't understand that I'm shy and cannot handle a lot of social situations. They also don't realize that these are the things I'm striving for, but I just can't reach. It's kind of dumb, sure, but what really makes me mad is that they are pointing out everything that I already know.
And spending time thinking about all of this just takes time away from putting all aspects of my life into place. It's a vicious cycle... and only happens on Fridays when I have nowhere to go, so maybe its just a twinge of bitterness?
Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts
Friday, September 25, 2009
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Lazy Sunday
Just to start out on a slightly positive note, I'm making my way through articles and edits this afternoon. I just thought I would take a little break and write a post here.
Sundays are lazy for me. I schedule work after 1pm, so I usually have the morning to myself to watch movies, cook, or read. Today I chose movies. I didn't know what to watch, so I first checked On Demand. I picked The Money Pit just because it starred Tom Hanks. Most of his lighter movies bring out my good mood. This one was all right, but not anything special. I knew I really needed something to bring back the joy in my life, so I went with A Hard Day's Night -- an old joy-bringing standard. It was working -- then I realized something. I'm 24 (way closer to 25 now). John and Ringo were about 24 when this movie was made. And they were already rich, famous, and somewhat content with their career path. Hell, John was already a published author! Made me feel absolutely hopeless about my life.
So I went to work. That doesn't make me feel any better, considering the fact that I find every single article kickback a complete and total failure. Now I'm just sitting here, wondering what to do next. There is more work to do, but I really have all night for that. And it's not going to be that hard. Most of the ones this evening will not be rewrites. Just one.
I guess it's just like the Paul Simon demo I've heard:
I'm a groundhog, looking for a hole
I'm a dog whose gone astray
I get the blues all morning
And morning's my best time of the day
Sundays are lazy for me. I schedule work after 1pm, so I usually have the morning to myself to watch movies, cook, or read. Today I chose movies. I didn't know what to watch, so I first checked On Demand. I picked The Money Pit just because it starred Tom Hanks. Most of his lighter movies bring out my good mood. This one was all right, but not anything special. I knew I really needed something to bring back the joy in my life, so I went with A Hard Day's Night -- an old joy-bringing standard. It was working -- then I realized something. I'm 24 (way closer to 25 now). John and Ringo were about 24 when this movie was made. And they were already rich, famous, and somewhat content with their career path. Hell, John was already a published author! Made me feel absolutely hopeless about my life.
So I went to work. That doesn't make me feel any better, considering the fact that I find every single article kickback a complete and total failure. Now I'm just sitting here, wondering what to do next. There is more work to do, but I really have all night for that. And it's not going to be that hard. Most of the ones this evening will not be rewrites. Just one.
I guess it's just like the Paul Simon demo I've heard:
I'm a groundhog, looking for a hole
I'm a dog whose gone astray
I get the blues all morning
And morning's my best time of the day
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)