An Afternoon at the Strand

It's Valentine's Day. Whether you have a love to celebrate or are actively boycotting this greeting card holiday, I've got a poem for you about my one true love--books. It comes from If It Was New York, Summer 2009 and it's a sneak peek at what the collection has to offer.

An Afternoon at the Strand

Miles and miles to keep you entertained

Practically calling out to you with all its musty glory

New and old, there's no shame in what you happen to like

Diving deep into stacks, submerged until the last call

No more room left for you to bring home another treasure

Another stack places more tension on an already worn shoulder

But it's a habit, a hobby, an obsession

You need it more than it needs you

Those words, billions of them floating around you

And a million more trying to get out of your own head

You just need to focus, focus

...focus...

Then maybe you'll find the gem you've been looking for

The one that will twist your insides, clamp down on your lungs

At just the right moment to scare yourself at the thought

A book is just a book, until it's not, then you give it life

Calmly breathing culture, giving birth endlessly to another

And another until you can't stand it—you must have them all

Maybe you'll turn into a maniac, consuming thousands of words

Bloated, but still ready for the next delicious stack

It has a different taste, and you can't wait to try some more

And you situate your tote, and you check your wallet

Another stack for home, another stack for the pleasure of it all.




Interested in more from the upcoming collection? Check out Patreon for more exclusive excerpts and extras.

A Valentine from Me to You

I told you I had a freebie coming up. And here it is:



Synopsis:
Lindley Neil is perfectly happy working as a photographer's assistant in her small, Midwestern town. As her boss Lexi LaPort starts getting bigger and better gigs, Lindley gets to follow Lexi around to L.A. and New York to photograph movie stars and models. What she didn't expect was to fall in love. Twice.
With a movie star and a prominent journalist vying for her affection, Lindley also knows that her job with Lexi won't last forever. Lindley has to choose her own path, even though it means she has to break someone's heart. Will it end up being be her own?

Get your ebook copy now through February 14 to enjoy it for FREE! Happy Valentine's Day!

February Has Arrived

Why does my calendar feature a photo of a blobbish, heart-shaped donut? Because it's February, of course! No longer does the idea of candy hearts and pounds of chocolate given to me by a loved one rule my thoughts--as much as I would love to have someone show their undying love for me, I'd rather have it on a random day instead of when Hallmark tells them to shower me with gifts. Or any day at all. Ya know. Anywhoo...

Turning the calendar page makes me happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I'm no longer wallowing my heart and brain in the terror that has been dubbed Singles Awareness Day (see above; I've finally become enlightened instead of a bitter shell of a human about Feb. 14). Sad because every flip of the calendar page tells me I didn't do enough personally and professionally. It's the audible Homer Simpson "D'Oh!" when you realize you haven't moved an inch from where you were in January. The productivity gurus all tell you it's about small steps. What about microscopic ones? What about those that are invisible to the naked eye? A basket of my microscopic steps towards goals of any kind still isn't really visible. Especially to me.

But I'm not stopping, even if I have virtually nothing to show for the previous weeks.  I could throw out that whole the journey, not the destination stuff, but no. I'll spare you. I want to arrive at that golden destination, look around, say, "Eh, not bad," and go about finding a new destination. That's the goal for me. Multiple figurative and literal destinations. Maybe February will be the stepping stone I'm looking for. Let's get to it.

**PS: I've got a fun freebie coming up next week; I'll post more about that later. Be prepared with your Kindle/Kindle app in hand. ;-)

Back to Reality

I know I've been absent from the blog. It doesn't have to do with lack of time or ideas to write about. I just couldn't bring myself to write a blog post without putting a negative spin on it. I don't feel like the world needs any more negativity, so instead of opening my mouth (technologically speaking) I just stayed quiet. Then I realized that if I'm being real and giving the world my experience on life as a writer, negativity will inevitably be a part of it. So advanced warning: this post is in no way uplifting. There. Let's continue.

You know how happy I was that I had the motivation and the determination to make 2015 great? That's not quite how I feel anymore. I turned right back into a realist once I hit the end of the first full work week in January. That's when work starts up again from its holiday slump, only it didn't come back this time. At least not enough of it came back to get myself where I need to be to start thinking of the future instead of wallowing in the present anxiety. The work I do have is more long term, which means I'll wait weeks or months instead of days for a payout. 

I also spent a lot of time contemplating one of those regular jobs again. Hey, time is something I have plenty of anyway. There are some writing related jobs that I know qualify for, but with weather and all of the other things that like to block my path, traveling for an interview could end up being a huge waste of time and money. Of course, I could just be using all of these excuses to hide the fact that I haven't put myself out there in a good long while and I'm just a little nervous to do it. As long as the listings are still up, I'll try to talk myself into taking a real chance.

And about those local jobs--you know what those are, and they give me a lot of anxiety just thinking about them. Customer service is not my forte. I feel like I'm belittled enough in my life without having to deal with it for part-time minimum wage.

That doesn't mean that any of this has stifled my creativity. That's still running a mile a minute. I have tons of ideas, but because the guilt set in again, I haven't strapped myself to the computer to finish them. Then again, I have a list of places to submit to this week including an application for a small writing grant. So at least I'll be keeping myself busy until I can find some answers. I'll probably be so busy trying to figure out a path that I'll forget I'm supposed to be angry and bitter about Valentine's Day. Sweet!

Eventful Weekend

I'm still working hard on my weight loss goal for the year, and I certainly managed to get in my exercise this weekend. I spent most of the weekend with the nephews. They are a hoot and also really, really energetic. And even though this was the weekend for love, I did not falter and delve into a box full of chocolate candies. Nope, instead I was well aware of my singleness and left it at that. I had plans to write a sappy poem either about the holiday or about being single, but the humor didn't come through for me.

I did, however, manage to complete my first roll on my Diana Mini. I was scared this morning when I rewound the film. This was my first time doing that on an analogue camera and I thought I messed it all up. When I finished rewinding, the counter didn't reset. Luckily there is advice everywhere on the Internet and I found the answer to my question. I managed not to break it and can't wait to get the film developed!

Writing is... slow. I managed one article last week. I hope to complete much more this week all while saving myself from another month of paycheck to paycheck living. Stress is high, but it only makes me more determined to get through.

Busy Week Ahead

I have a pretty busy week for myself. Tonight I'm taking the Jeopardy! eligibility test. And besides my daily work, I really have to buckle down and finish the last three poems in Personas. I finally secured my illustrator and she's hard at work on the rest of the content. At least I don't have to worry about plans for Valentine's Day!

I actually avoid any talk of Valentine's Day because it brings up the usual feelings of rejection and bloating from all the candy. But I also know how great it is to receive these gifts of affection. Flowers are typically the best, unless your loved one is allergic. I've been keeping my eye out for Flower coupons just in case I fall in love in the next couple of weeks. And ladies—don't let them fool you—guys appreciate gifts too, even if flowers are usually thought of as a feminine gift (just don't send them to his workplace!).
I actually love to use florists to find my house plants. I've purchased some before, and I plan to get some bamboo as soon as I find a place to put it.

If you do have a Valentine this year, remember that quality time is more precious than anything you can find in store. Now—back to work! Poetry should be easy thinking about love and rejection.