Wrestling with Longshots

Writing in 2017 has been interesting, but much of it feels the same. I'm still splitting my time between edits, revisions, writing fresh drafts and working on scripts (again). But what it feels like is working, working, working with no way off of the hamster wheel. This feeling keeps gnawing at me that I need to do some big, grand gesture in order to move my career along. I get this feeling every few months, but I have yet to figure out exactly what needs to be done.

I think this feeling is what's throwing me back into script writing. I still have a desire to submit something to Amazon Studios, but silly, always prepared me starting looking at the fine print again. The deal they offer isn't quite what it seems. It's a buyout--which means if they like it and they want it, they can not only block you out of any future script revisions or rewrites (which I expected), but they can also strip your name from the project. So, aside from money, what's in it for me? It puts me in a situation of bragging about getting something made, only to see that I can't prove to anyone I did it.

It's not just script writing either. I've come to the decision that I need to move beyond self publishing. I'm not giving it up entirely (I still have the third installment for Kindle Worlds to release), but I think the next new project that goes out into the world should be presented from a more traditional source. The publishing world isn't the same as it was twenty years ago. You have to have your feet planted in both sides of publishing to maximize visibility and income. Plus, you have to come up with a scheme for a weekly check. Some do podcasts, some sell useless How to Write courses, some super bloggers earn enough from advertising--I do freelancing right now, but there are so many options I feel like I'm not exploring hard enough (except for selling courses--most of them are worthless).

What does this all mean? It means I'm still going to practice drawing, even though I'd rather be writing comics than drawing them. It means I may throw myself into some other creative form if given the chance. It means I have to do what I do best--get creative to find the space I want to occupy. It'll probably cause a few brain freezes along the way (like the one I'm having right now), but maybe I'll be led in the right direction.

A Secret is Waiting to be Told

I hate keeping secrets, but I promise the one I hinted about the other day on Twitter is going to be a good one. That's one of the reasons I've been absent from the blog--I knew I would spill it all if I talked about it any sooner. That, and I have some personal hangups (okay, superstitions) about discussing projects before they are ready because it always seems to make it harder to get it right. So, if all goes according to plan, this secret project should be revealed within the next couple of weeks. Here is the ONLY clue I can provide.

And in the pursuit of total honesty, I also stayed away from the blog because I was having one giant pity party for myself. Sometimes I just can't keep all the frustrations inside about this line of work. But I chose it because I love it, and it will never work if I don't just buck up and keep going. So that's what I'm doing. Right now. Not only am I in the final stretches of my secret project, but my creativity has also been steered back into the direction of songwriting. Once all of that stuff is on the page and out of my head, I will be getting back to the trilogy. It still has a long way to go, but it's getting there.

What creative endeavors are you embarking on this week?

Camping with a Purpose This Year

So many of us just go through the day fulfilling our own wants and needs. And when we don't get those things, the world can turn pretty dark. That's when it becomes a great time to help someone else and support things that work to give to others.

I'm doing something a little different for Camp NaNoWriMo this year. I've created a sponsor donation page to help support the cause because NaNoWriMo and the camps in April and July have been a lifesaver to me. Without these yearly events, I may never get as much writing done as I would like to. Goals are important, and these events help me meet and surpass my writing goals, even if I think I can't write another word.

I have a relatively small fundraising goal of $500, but I know that even this much can help with getting the opportunity for stories and creativity into the hands of children and adults that can do amazing things. This fundraising will also keep me on track by encouraging me to reach or exceed my goal of 25,000 words for this session of camp. This partial novel will end up being part 2 of my trilogy, which can only bring me closer to getting all three parts completed.

I whine too much about my own shortcomings and what I think I want out of life. So, it's time for me to put all of that focus onto something good for someone else for a change. If you can contribute, please do. If you can't right now, please spread the word or just drop by the page to leave a message of encouragement. 

Back to Reality

I know I've been absent from the blog. It doesn't have to do with lack of time or ideas to write about. I just couldn't bring myself to write a blog post without putting a negative spin on it. I don't feel like the world needs any more negativity, so instead of opening my mouth (technologically speaking) I just stayed quiet. Then I realized that if I'm being real and giving the world my experience on life as a writer, negativity will inevitably be a part of it. So advanced warning: this post is in no way uplifting. There. Let's continue.

You know how happy I was that I had the motivation and the determination to make 2015 great? That's not quite how I feel anymore. I turned right back into a realist once I hit the end of the first full work week in January. That's when work starts up again from its holiday slump, only it didn't come back this time. At least not enough of it came back to get myself where I need to be to start thinking of the future instead of wallowing in the present anxiety. The work I do have is more long term, which means I'll wait weeks or months instead of days for a payout. 

I also spent a lot of time contemplating one of those regular jobs again. Hey, time is something I have plenty of anyway. There are some writing related jobs that I know qualify for, but with weather and all of the other things that like to block my path, traveling for an interview could end up being a huge waste of time and money. Of course, I could just be using all of these excuses to hide the fact that I haven't put myself out there in a good long while and I'm just a little nervous to do it. As long as the listings are still up, I'll try to talk myself into taking a real chance.

And about those local jobs--you know what those are, and they give me a lot of anxiety just thinking about them. Customer service is not my forte. I feel like I'm belittled enough in my life without having to deal with it for part-time minimum wage.

That doesn't mean that any of this has stifled my creativity. That's still running a mile a minute. I have tons of ideas, but because the guilt set in again, I haven't strapped myself to the computer to finish them. Then again, I have a list of places to submit to this week including an application for a small writing grant. So at least I'll be keeping myself busy until I can find some answers. I'll probably be so busy trying to figure out a path that I'll forget I'm supposed to be angry and bitter about Valentine's Day. Sweet!

Starting the New Year Off Right

Some days it just hits me. There are so many ideas in my brain that they can't be contained any longer. Since the 1st I have written half of a short story, a new novel outline and I'm about ready to tackle another previously planned novel outline. I also managed to squeeze in a couple hours of revision. A lot is getting done, so I'm way more optimistic about this year than I thought I would be. Write on, people. Write on.

Since this is the first post on TSW of the New Year, it's also time to do a little roundup for those who are just joining us. First, I want to let everyone know that I love connecting with other writers and creative people all over social media. I know everyone has a favorite platform, and some of you already follow me on a few of them. I don't do a whole lot of cross-posting, so if you want to follow all of my accounts, here's a rundown of where I'm at:


Twitter:
My freelance life in 140 characters.

Facebook:
As you can see, a big 2015 goal of mine is to get more Facebook likes so I can access my analytics.

Google+:
I'm here, but not every day.

 

Instagram:
I love photography. Some are weird, some are fun and some are just me. Enjoy.

Tsu:
A relatively new social media site. If you are a writer, artist or musician I definitely recommend signing up. This is a great way to gain exposure and Tsu lets you earn ad revenue share off your posts.

And I may also have a little haiku book out there you may have heard of called Unfolding Life. If you don't already have a copy, check it out.

In the coming year I hope to publish more, so stay tuned of all of that good stuff.

#NaNoWriMo14: In the Thick of It

Let's just pause for a moment to recognize two things about this year's NaNoWriMo experience:

1. I have yet to quit due to time constraints, stress, a lack of creativity and all of those previous excuses I have used.

2. Aside from a small 1k-word shortage, I'm relatively on track for finishing by November 30.

This is an accomplishment in itself, whether I end up winning or not. I'm finally at the point in my life/career that I realize how plowing through writing on a daily basis works much better than waiting for that spark of creativity. I hate to admit all of those people who shovel out writing advice are right, but hey--someday someone will tell me that I'm right on some obscure subject, and we'll be even.

I must also address my Vine experiment. I've managed to put up a video everyday, but I realize how boring they are. The last two have been screenshots of my Nano stats page. I'll do better, I swear. I'm also forgoing the weekly YouTube video compilation hoping that I can get a much better 30-day compilation made in December. You know... one that actually includes words and stuff so the videos don't look like a jumble of random clips.

And a little early Christmas reminder for you: a book of haiku always makes a great gift, so pick up Unfolding Life today and check it off of your shopping list. ;-)

Persistence in November

I planned on starting this post to rejoice in the fact that I'm doing well in my NaNoWriMo adventure. But ten minutes ago I just cut ties with my major source of employment. I no longer felt I was being treated fairly (happens often in freelancing) so I'm not doing work through them anymore. And these are the kinds of things that tend to happen in the month of November to pull me away from any of my goals. But why stop now? I certainly have more time in my day to work on it.

Negativity is very bad for my creativity, so I'm trying to stay out of that space. It's so hard though. If there's no Point B to navigate to, I'm lost in every way. This is why I should have never listened to everyone who told me the safe route was the best route. If I had taken a chance when I had the means, I would be in a completely different place right now. I may have still been poor, but at least I wouldn't be held down by all of the anxiety and fear I've developed by hiding for so long.

Anyway, spent an hour feeling sorry for myself and now I'm back to work on the novel. At least it keeps me busy... we'll see how far I get by next week. 

When It Hits You

I have been working all afternoon on a new novel idea. It came from a dream, which is probably the best source of creativity I have had during my writing career so far. I wrote an outline for it which is about four pages. It is probably the longest outline I've made for one of my projects. I know that I have a lot of other projects up in the air, but I want to keep working on this one before I lose steam. We'll see where it goes. My biggest problem right now is how to write a convincing fake crime syndicate.

When it comes to all the other projects that now just seem like chores, I'm not going to give up. I just need to prioritize my writing time. I have a little more of it this month, so I guess creativity struck me at the right time.

The Trials of January

I think I need to stay clear of kids for awhile. Every time the nephews come over, I get a new illness. While this last one isn't as bad as the first one was, it's still ranged from debilitating at the onset to annoying now. The only thing I want now is to make it to spring without getting sick again, because its really cutting into my daily work schedule.

On the creative front, I submitted two poems to another literary journal last night. I have a bit of hope for these because they've been rejected a few times already. Hopefully I found the right publication for them this time. I'm also prepping more submissions for the end of the month. My goal is to have all my poetry out being scrutinized somewhere by spring so I can focus more on revising the new stuff I've been writing. I used to think stream of consciousness writing was all the was needed and only a fool would revise their poetry, but I learned my lesson. I now know that revision is vital to poetry, fiction and anything else a person writes. So until next time, Folks...

A Moving Adventure and a Short Respite

The moving is 95% complete. I still have a few boxes and a bicycle lingering at the old house, but as far as all the big stuff the work is done. Of course, that was no thanks to the U-Haul I rented and never appeared (and still waiting for the $50 compensation that U-Haul promises when equipment rented is not available, but that's another story). It was a whole mess, but as I told my parents, we are from hearty stock so we got the job done despite of that setback.

Now it's the time for big action. I've already made the big decisions, and this time I know not to let anyone talk me out of them. Actually, the people who used to talk me out of them are now being strangely encouraging. Maybe they're tired of me hanging around? Anyway, I'm not letting myself get comfortable in the new place--it's not my home. It's just a temporary stop before I go to New York.

Yes, I'm still on that NYC kick, but it's no longer just a kick. It is turning into a realistic goal. It's more of a need. Imagine the one thing you've wanted since you were five years old. By the time you are an adult, you've either forgotten about it or have already been able to get it. Well, I'm not the type to forget anything and this is my time to get it. That's where I want to live. That's where I want to be creative and jump into everything head-first.

There are still a few problems to iron out, like the fact I don't really have to money to live there if I don't get the job as soon as I hop off the train/plane/bus. I also need to stick around the Midwest a little while longer to purge a good majority of my belongings. Having spent most of my adult life in two bedroom apartments, I've collected a lot of stuff. At the moment, it's taking up too much space in my parents' new home. I don't want to leave them with that mess, but I also know there's too much money in it all to just give it away either. A mix of eBay auctions and garage sales will probably take care of most of it (I hope).

That should get me pretty close to where I want to be. If I'm in New York by Christmas, I'll consider myself a very lucky girl.

The first week of my last semester of classes didn't kill me. In fact, I think this semester is going to go pretty well. I'm happy with the classes I'm taking and I think that 4 out of 5 of them will help me later in life. Hopefully. I still can't get back into the swing of homework again, though. i hate deadlines. It stifles my creativity. Not that anyone has been impressed with my creativity lately... I don't really impress anyone. At least no one has told me if I did. Oh well. I guess that just comes along with being shy. The compliments (though I don't really want to hear them) are few and far between. But like my song of the moment: "She swears that there's no difference/between the lies and compliments/It's all the same if everybody leaves her."

Damn... I didn't think i was going to go sappy in the post...