Well...

I must confess--I'm out of the retail world almost as fast as I jumped into it. While I liked many aspects of the job, there were just some I couldn't handle. I know I'm being vague, but that's nearly the same thing I said when I quit. Although I can't list all the things that were wrong, I just know that job wasn't the right fit for me.

So, I'm back to writing full time. At least for the moment. There are other jobs out there to be had, which are mostly seasonal now. That may actually benefit me in a way, so that I know there's an end in sight if I just can't deal with the next one.

And unfortunately, when I say I'm back to writing, it's only web copy. I haven't touched a piece of fiction since I started working outside of the home office. I really want to get back to it, but I'm having a hard time just clicking on the computer file. I don't know why, but as soon as I figure it out I know that the words will just start pouring out again.

While I'm picking up all the pieces, I'm really pushing to get the website and Facebook page launched. I was able to get a great deal on a site (at least for the first year), so I need to roll it out by the end of the week--hopefully sooner. And the only thing stopping me from publishing the Facebook page right now is getting the profile pic up. It's a hard decision, and I may have someone just go ahead and take a new one so I don't have to think about it anymore. As always, if anything is ready to launch, I'll make sure to let you all know.

My Chair Almost Died

That's right--my favorite desk chair was minutes from the curb with a pathetic 'FREE' sign on it. The chair is supposed to lean back, but this feature often gets stuck. I usually throw the thing around until it loosens up again, but yesterday that tactic just didn't want to work anymore. I was so frustrated, I said "Throw it away!" and stole the bar stool from the kitchen, which made me hover a few inches too high above the desk.

Long story short, the family got it fixed and now I know what to do if this ever happens again... and it's not to beat the chair into the floor anymore. However, the whole experience made me realize how attached I am to all the things I use for work. I mean, half of the letters on my keyboard are rubbed off, but I don't know if I could get used to having a new keyboard. And forget about a new computer. It takes me weeks to get everything set up just the way I like it. Glad I'm content with all this stuff, even though I know I'll eventually have to replace it.



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Running in Place

This is only a quick update. The computer is still not functional at the moment, I'm spending all of my time trying to get out of the apartment instead of looking for a new job, I can't think, let alone write. I'm pretty much a mess and I don't like it. People always tell me that things will get better tomorrow, but I'm pretty sure that this "tomorrow" they all speak of doesn't exist in reality.

Anyway, that's my little update/complaint. I'll keep living in my head, save the best ideas until a creative moment pops up or until I see a way out of this and back into a normal life. Check back with me in March... things may be different then.

Through the eyes of my laptop

Oh, it's going to be another long workday. My processor is just a few months old now, and my motherboard couldn't be more proud. But I have a tough gig, and laptops are not subject to child labor laws.

But I have experience difficulties since day one. When Firefox just wouldn't stop hiccuping, I was blamed. I couldn't control this program; I was at a loss. Now I look like I'm on life support with nearly every USB port connected to some type of performance “enhancement.” I help control a wireless mouse. It's cute, but isn't my touchpad enough for you? Then there's the portable hard drive. I know I'm small, but did you have to go and get more memory? And please—my battery is the one thing I know that will give you the satisfaction you want, yet you insist on leaving me plugged into the wall.

To bad I wasn't an HP. Then you would love me. Everyone can take advantage of a $30 stackable site-wide coupon until 10/31 (or while supplies last; restrictions and exclusions apply). So why don't you just go and buy a new HP and give me to a good home. One that doesn't need high performance.

Sincerely,
Your laptop

Finally Happy

...but not really productive. I did write one whole article with my new mouse and keyboard before I jumped over here to write a blog post about how excited I am that my new keyboard works so well. The mouse gave me trouble at the beginning, but a little computer restart was all that it took. I should pull out another article before dinner, but instead I'll probably just hook up my new speakers. This is the first time that I've had speakers for this machine, and I've have it almost a year now.

At least I can wish everyone a happy day and know that I'll be very productive until High School Reunion comes on tonight. I'm not old, but I still think the show is slightly entertaining. But remember--I'm still totally against all reality shows. It's all fake. There's no reality to it!! Oh well... I'll rant on that again another day.

New Apartment, Day 3

Things are starting to come together. I have some pictures on the walls, my cabinets are organized, but I don't have a microwave, and it's really annoying. I can't reheat leftovers (well, at least fast enough). But... working here without any distractions (except sometimes the television) it great! Although I think it might get even better once I actually move my computer into my office. It'll be in the living room until the cable guy comes back tomorrow to run the line. It might actually stay out in the living room until the weekend just because I'm lazy... and I want to get my apartment set up some more before I go moving this thing for the third time in three days. But anyway... I had to quit job today. They still haven't paid me, and anyone who reads this blog religiously (I know there's at least one person out there!) knows that i have been dealing with these people for months. But no more. All I can do now is bug them about getting the rest of my money that the owe me. And I have no problems getting a lawyer on their ass... as long as they are willing to take a case that's well under $1000 bucks. Whatever. It'll get solved one of these days. Hopefully soon.

What Is Going On?

Not only did I wake up in a great mood this morning, it was smashed by an unknown entity by the early afternoon. After that, I just felt miserable. I have tried to bring it up by listening to music, playing mindless computer games, but that didn't help. Among my problems (thought I'm sure no one cares) I have a stack up unpaid invoices, I cannot prove that I can afford an amazing apartment that I want, and I live with my parents. Plus, I fell asleep for nearly an hour around 6:30 tonight, which gave me a headache.

I think I'll just stay in bed tomorrow and not get up. Even my new book doesn't do anything for me. I have no interest in finishing it, though it's decent so far.

I feel like pulling out my hair. I have been alone in this apartment since Tuesday and I'm going a little nutty. It's raining outside, so I've been avoiding leaving as it is. And work has come to a standstill--which for once is a good thing. But I really wanted to work until Friday night, not Wednesday night. But I can deal. I won't be back to take any assignments again until next Tuesday, so it's a good thing. Just really boring.

I have almost everything packed. The only thing left is the clothes, computer, and of course season 2 of Bones. I have to have something watch while eating lunch, right? And I got to see one of my favorite I Love Lucy eps today: "Lucy is Enciente." I love that one! CSI is on tonight, and so is ER. What have I got ot complain about? I can sing as loud as I want, walk around naked (although I don't)... I'll need to get used to living alone as it is. I won't have a roommate to live with in my next place. I don't want one. I loved having one while I was here in college, but I think it's time to get going on my own. Someone want to point me in the right direction?

Where's the work?! I'm getting a little worried. I have only had one assignment since last Tuesday night. Sure, I needed the weekend off to get the computer set up... but now I am ready to get my work and get it done. Jeez... I feel like I'm always complaining about no work and too much work. Why can't there be a happy medium with me?

But on the upside, my Rock n Roll podcast is playing A Fats Domino song, "One Night of Sin" which was recorded by Elvis, eventually turning into "One Night With You." Interesting. I think I'll keep subscribing to this podcast. It really opens my eyes about some of my favorite songs.

My new computer is finally here. After a few hours of fiddling, I think I finally have it running the way I want it to. But I'll be honest, it was really more trouble than it was worth. I can't transfer my music at the moment, so I still have to use my laptop for all my iPod related issues... just for awhile though, hopefully. And I even got a few things typed that I needed to do... not work, but career related, for sure. I hope I don't have to make my money from personal essays, but if they sell, why the hell not? I'll try it. Maybe it will work. Maybe it won't. But I have to have the will to sit down and write it out past this little freewriting exercise I typed earlier.

So after almost two months, I made it through an old issue of Shambhala Sun. It took me that long because I have been writing way more than reading these days. But because work was slow this week, I finished the magazine. And you know what? Four of the main articles in the issue were writing related. And do you know what that did? Yes sir, it inspired me to get my pen out once again. I couldn't move my hand by Thursday afternoon, but it was well worth it. I think I got a few good memoir/essay ideas. I do not normally write this type of stuff, but I thought since I had really good ideas for it that I would give it a shot. I really have nothing better to do (besides get fat) when I'm not working.

In other news, I get my new computer tomorrow! I'm happy. Let's just hope that it was built properly... and now I'll be twice as efficient in my work and maybe I'll be able to pay the damn thing off quickly.

I'm still looking for apartments in West Lafayette... it's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I have to many specifications and expectations for certain prices. That's what I get for not taking care of any of this a long time ago on my own. I rely way too much on people, and now I can't. There I go again... growing up. Does it ever stop??